heartsblood
by circleofcrows
Summary: He knew that he was dreaming. Knew that the man standing before him was nothing more than an illusion woven from his heartsblood; knew that he would awaken alone in his bed, sheets twisted around his limbs, clinging to his sweat-dampened skin, lungs crushed beneath the guilt that knocked the air right out of him, and yet he still looked at Sirius as though he truly was.


That night, he dreamt.

The sharp scent of pine trees and crisp night air evaded his senses, the ground beneath his feet mossy and dark all the same. The moon hung full and silvery in the atramentous curtain of a sky above, speckled with stars and few clouds. Despite this, he was still _himself_. He had not _turned_. And strangely enough, the odd occurance failed to stir him.  
He looked around, slowly. Remus was standing alone in the forest. Or so it seemed.

Between the dark and twisted tree branches he caught sight of something small and unassuming and _glowing_ softly with a gentle celeste light.  
He watched it solemnly for a few moments, watched it shimmer, slivers of light catching against the somber trees surrounding.

Then, it moved.

It moved slowly at first, as if to say, _are you coming along?_ before it moved with deliberation, leaving a fading trail of light in it's wake as it went, and before Remus was able to do anything else, his feet were already carrying him towards the obscurity.

He hurried through the undergrowth, beneath the pale moonlight, twigs snapping beneath his shoes as he went, and before he knew it he was running, running towards something that he wasn't all that aware of yet at the same time _knew_ intimately, even if he wasn't conscious of it.

He ran until he was out of breath, until his lungs were on fire and his legs were aching. He stopped, hunched over his knees, panting breathlessly.  
When he looked up, the light was gone.

Or at least, something else stood in its place.

No, not something. _Someone_.

''Sirius.'' The name trembled on his lips, his heart aflame and tears brimming in the corners of his eyes, not only from exhaustion.

There he stood; Sirius Black, with his dark, scraggly hair falling loosely around his shoulders, where his eyes were as soft and worn as the wrinkles on his face, where he stood as he was, as he always had been.  
Yet there was something different about him. He stood, still, amiable, with the same look in his eyes that he always reserved for Remus alone _,_ only he seemed to glow with a brilliant radiance, as captivating as the pale, rosy moon itself.

He knew that he was dreaming. Knew that the man standing before him was nothing more than an illusion woven from his heartsblood; knew that he would awaken _alone_ in his bed, sheets twisted around his limbs, clinging to his sweat-dampened skin, lungs crushed beneath the _guilt_ that knocked the air right out of him, and yet he still looked at Sirius as though he truly _was_.

''I am sorry, old friend,'' Sirius whispered, softly, and for a long moment, Remus said nothing.

He shook his head, slowly, tears finally spilling over in the silence that stretched between them. ''No, I am the one that is sorry. I could have prevented this from happening. I could have...''

''Listen to me, Remus.'' Sirius was stern, but there was a softness ever-present in his voice that managed to seep into Remus' soul and wrap itself around his aching heart. He took a few slow, careful steps towards the man and placed his hands on Remus' shoulders. ''What is fated to happen shall happen eventually, and there is nothing that can be done for it. You know that, old friend. You mustn't blame yourself.''

Remus' eyes slid shut as tears streamed silently, his face stricken. ''I never even got to say goodbye,'' he whispered, and the words barely left as more than a croak.

''No,'' Sirius whispered softly, taking the other man's face in his hands, pressing their foreheads together. His voice trembled in the same way that his hands did, in the same way that Remus trembled, the fragility of the moment catching them both off-guard. ''But you can say goodbye, here; now.''

And that was what he did.

With the other in his arms, held close to his slowly-beating heart, fingers intertwined lazily and foreheads pressed together, they swayed gently. Sirius would touch his lips to Remus' jaw, his neck, his lips, and in turn Remus would do the same.  
For a long time, neither spoke. They didn't feel the need.

Beneath the pale moonlight their hearts beat as one, and Remus awoke with tears in his eyes, but his heart felt lighter for it, and he believed that maybe, just maybe, he would be able to breathe again.


End file.
